Summary: Your lineage is a mystery and your powers can be downright scary. You had been on your own since you could remember; saving some lives, taking others, doing what needed to be done in order to survive. And then one day, a man with a metal arm saved your life. From that moment on, you worked with the Avengers, saving lives, not only on Earth, but in other galaxies as well.
Word Count: 1,658
Warnings: Heavy angst, language, violence, blood, gore, there could be some smut, possibly more to come.
Author’s Note: The main idea for this was inspired by this song by Skylar Grey. GIF credit [X]
My work is not to be posted on any other sites (AO3, Wattpad, etc.) without my express written permission. Reblogs are fine.

Bruce was standing there, a hand running through his unruly and charcoal and grey curls. “You do realize what this will entail.”
“Pain,” you sighed. “Lots and lots of pain.”
He tried not to, but Bruce chuckled. “If your metabolism wasn’t crazy, -”
“You’d be able to put me under,” you finished for him, his own thoughts swirling through your brain. “Can you quiet down a bit, doc? You’re giving me a headache.”
“Sorry,” Bruce murmured, his eyes squeezing closed as he tried to get his brain under control. “I’m nervous. Never done anything like this before.”
“Neither have I,” you scoffed.
The anxiety in your chest was threatening to rip you apart from the inside out, and it was as if Bucky could sense it. He reached out and grabbed your hand, giving it a firm squeeze. Everything about him was calm, collected, at ease, and your empathic ability flared up, grabbing onto his cooling waves of assurance.
Bucky gave you a warm smile before turning his attention to Bruce. “I might be overstepping here, but could I be in there during the procedure? I mean, if it’s okay with you.”
You got lost in his oceanic eyes as soon as they were back on you. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Buck, but I need you in there with me.”
Showing vulnerability was never something you did well with; you had always been independent, almost to a fault. So, admitting something like that, needing someone, needing him, was a giant leap for you.
“I ain’t going anywhere, doll,” he breathed. Another wave of ease rolled through you, calming your pounding heart and quieting the chatter of Bruce’s inner thoughts that raged, despite your previous request.
Bruce pulled in a deep breath before issuing an order. “You’ll need to get scrubbed in, Bucky.”
Twenty-five minutes later, you were on your side, Bucky’s hands wrapped in yours, a cold sweat covering every inch of you, tears streaming down your face, and a scream caught in your throat. Bucky had blatantly gone against protocol and hadn’t worn a face mask into the room. You would have to thank him later for that.
“Come on, doll,” Bucky purred, his thumbs sweeping over your clammy skin. “Breathe with me.”
His eyes were drilling into yours and his lips were pursed as he blew out the breath he just got done holding for several seconds. You were trying to mirror him, but it was pretty goddamn difficult with Bruce Banner collecting a core sample of your bone marrow. You wanted to harness your power and throw him across the room, but there was something you wanted even more; to find out what you were.
Bruce and Tony had spent two months running every possible test known to mankind on you, and the results were always inconclusive, negative, insufficient data. So, if you had to go through an immense amount of pain to actually get a result that meant something, then that was exactly what you would do.
Bruce’s voice was thick with worry when he said, “I need her to calm down.”
“Y/N, look at me,” Bucky ordered, his voice rough and gritty.
You hadn’t remembered closing your eyes when you started whining, the scream held hostage in your throat was gaining momentum. It needed to get out, to fill the room, to shatter the glass, to lash out and hurt someone. Bucky got down on his knees and planted himself less than five inches from your face.
“Open your goddamn eyes, doll.”
Your blood pressure was too high, your heart felt like it was going to pound out of your chest, and it felt like your hip was being ground to dust. One of Bucky’s hands was on the side of your face, pushing away the hair that was stuck to your forehead and cheek.
“I ca- can’t,” was your strained answer.
He wasn’t happy at your refusal, but he didn’t dwell on it. “Fine,” he huffed, his breath hot on your skin. “Then focus on me.”
Now, that almost made your eyes flick open, and they probably would have, had Bruce not pushed the hollow needle deep into your bone. Bucky unraveled his hands from your grip and seized your wrist as he placed it against his chest.
“Focus on my heartbeat.” It was strong and steady against your palm; ba-dum, ba-dum. Your breathing had slowed down slightly, but not enough to make a difference. Bucky’s hand covered yours, his long fingers pushing between yours. With his other hand, he pressed your hand to your chest, doing the same thing with his fingers.
“Make them match, doll.” Jesus, you could get real used to hearing him use that term of endearment on you, but right then was neither the time, nor the place.
You were pulling in deep and refreshing breaths, swearing that you were standing on a beach, your toes in the sand, the surf crashing around you.
“That’s good, doll,” Bucky praised you softly. “You’re doin’ so good.”
“Just a little bit more,” Banner was murmuring, more to himself than either of you.
Bucky’s heartbeat was hypnotic. You found yourself wanting to rest your cheek against his chest, feel it up close and personal. However, you were willing to take what you could get; your hand pressed to his chest, the blood rushing through your veins filled with desperation, the need to match his too great to ignore.
The rate at which the machines were beeping had slowed down drastically, as had the pain you were experiencing. You were so focused on Bucky, on matching your breathing, your heart rate, on the way his calming nature washed over you like waves, that when Bruce announced the procedure was complete, you were taken aback.
You and Bucky stayed in the operating room long after Bruce had sewn up the incision, staring at one another, hearts beating as one. All of your previous anxieties had been silenced, leaving your mind comfortably numb, and for the first time in a long time, at peace.

On the quinjet, you were sitting on the floor, Wanda’s legs pressed against your arms, her fingers working through your hair, massaging your scalp before manipulating the strands into a braid. She was talking softly, about her home country, but mostly about Pietro, and how badly she was missing him.
She had come running up to you after your procedure, concern radiating off of her. “Thank God,” she choked out, tears in her eyes.
“Wan,” you sighed happily, wrapping your arms around her. “I told you I would be okay.”
“I know you did,” she sniffled, her face turning into your neck. “I was still worried.”
She hadn’t let you out of her sight since. Not that you minded; you loved Wanda like a sister. There was a connection between the two of you that you’d never had with anyone else, and it made you feel like you belonged, rather than an outcast.
You were half-listening to Wanda when you ‘overheard’ another conversation.
“How’s she doin’, Buck?” Steve asked his best friend as he maneuvered the quinjet through the air. “Giving a sample of your bone marrow isn’t exactly easy.”
Bucky chuckled softly. “You’re tellin’ me, punk. She ‘bout deformed my hand. Had to have Stark take a look at it before we left.” The soft whirring of his hand as he flexed it felt like a feather inside your brain; slightly tickling you yet, oddly soothing.
Steve echoed Bucky’s laugh. “You think she’s good to be on the mission?”
“You don’t?” Bucky gave voice to your silent question.
“Her hip was drilled into less than four hours ago,” was Steve’s answer. “This isn’t going to be an easy mission. I just want to make sure she won’t be… a liability.”
If Steve had said that any other time before last night, you would have gone off on him, unleashed your barely-controlled fury on the super soldier, see if he really could survive almost anything you could throw at him. But that wasn’t who you were anymore.
Bucky’s eyes were on you for several seconds before Bucky said anything. “Y/N’s good to go.”
“You’re… different,” Steve noted, curiosity heavy on his tongue. “Have been since Y/N joined us.”
“Yeah,” Bucky agreed softly. “I can feel it. It’s… it’s nice.”
Wanda tugged on your hair as she affixed the binder to the end of the braid. “It’s rude to eavesdrop.”
“Ouch,” you hissed. “I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” You pushed your shoulder into her leg playfully.
“I know.” She bent down and dropped a friendly kiss to your crown. “How are you feeling?”
With your eyes closed, your head lolled back against her thigh and you blew out a heavy sigh. “It’s still pretty sore. I’ve never had to rebuild my bones before.”
I can manipulate it into something else, her soft accent brushed against your brain. Then again, so can you.
Despite the burning in your bones, you chuckled. I like it when you do it.
When you opened your eyes, you knew they were glowing scarlet, mirroring the woman whose lap your head was in. Her power was warm, sparking against your skin, making the hair on your arms stand. It was similar to yours, but so very different. Wanda’s powers were fresher than yours, newer, they could be a bit bumpy at certain times, but that wasn’t her fault.
She wasn’t born with her powers, as you were, men stole her and Pietro, experimented on them, turned them into weapons of mass destruction. Thankfully, they had seen what was happening before it was too late, and in doing so, turned their lives around to protect the innocent.
“Thank you,” you hummed, a smile on your face.
The quinjet began its descent just then and Bucky was in front of you, his hand held out. “Come on, doll. Let’s go kick some ass.”
SIX

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