one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel
We all have certain MCU movies where our fave looks just that little bit better than in the other movies of the franchise he’s been in. Well, it took watching Black Panther to finally figure this out… we’re all kinky bitches and like straps.
Exhibit A: Erik Stevens/Killmonger
The stab vest/body armor doesnt have to be different colours, in fact if it was IRL it would likely all be one, but with the brown shoulder straps and the matt black torso strap it just makes me go hgnngh… the side diagonal straps do little to make it integrally more secure, instead it draws the eye to the very centre of his chest, which lead your eyes to his belt and then south… its sexually dominant.
Exhibit B: Loki Laufeyson
The original strap expert. But its his outfit in Avengers Assemble that really does it. Shoulder to waist straps that intertwine with opposing sides. They draw the eye down his body and make you realise how tall he is (i may have a tall men kink too).
Exhibit C: Steve Rogers/Captain America, notibly the STEALTH SUIT (of sex)
Again we have contrasting colours with the belt and shoulder holsters, but also the blue on black torso detailing. The brown leather emphasises his most notable body features, his slim waist and his massive shoulders, in essence telling you he’s fucking powerful.
Exhibit D: Thor Odinson
Thor in Gladiator garb is the sexiest uniform yet for the God of Thunder. The leather straps very much draw the eye down just like they do with his (adopted) brother. First the symbolic roundells then the chest to waist strap, then the belt before the whole tunic flares out at the hips. Furthermore the straps around his bare bicep and forearm draw your eyes to his muscles, before your eyes move back to his chest and start the whole glorious journey again.
Exhibit E: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (The Asset)
Of all the different uniforms Bucky has worn throughout the MCU, the second one we see him wear in CATWS is by far the most brutal. Not only the leather strapping detail to his jacket, but also his utility belt and cross chest shoulder holster. The cross chest strap in particular emphasises his huge chest to great effect; this guy is the result of 70 years of hard work by Hydra to create the ultimate killing machine, and looks every inch one that would thoroughly destroy you.
In other news, @wahwahwaffles – how accurate do you think this gif is when it comes to, err… other things? Asking for science, of course.
well, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I’ve been thinking about this, and I’m so glad you asked.
Take a look at that natural grip. The way his pinky slides out at the end of the slide. That’s a natural movement that he’s done quite a bit, I would wager. So while the length is comical and TERRIFYING and belongs in an explicit tentacle original work on Ao3, the GIRTH. THE GIRTH seems near to accurate.
And fanfiction has taught me that you don’t want a footlong dong, you want something with some meatiness in the circumference so you can see stars and fall over into the great beyond.
My hypothesis is backed by science and mathematics and has a .00002 chance of error.
I do thank you, kind madam, for your excellent scientific research. I knew I could count on you.
This… this just seemed appropriate
Look I’ve written fuck all in ages, but damn it now I want to write about the pinky finger. Because I clearly haven’t written enough self pleasure fic. But yanno accuracy.
Thank you @bjorkshirepudding & @wahwahwaffles for making my evening….brighter….? Let’s go with well lit for a dumpster fire.
Um, Meri, you do realize that now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m gonna hound you about it until the end of time… right??
Always happy to help. In fact, I’ll go a step further and provide you with a bit more inspiration:
Outstanding work here…
I don’t know what I just read but OMG I think @wahwahwaffles wins today. lol
If I weren’t already down this hole this post would have tipped me in.
Mmm…I thinks you was in like, the little office Chris Evans traschcan. But like, I’m out here in this big ol’ fuckin’ DUMPSTER of Evans fangirling with @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan and @captain-rogers-beard , see? Dis where I been saving your seat.
Star Barnes' Writing Blog 