My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it.
Here are some of my favorites:
-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”
After everything that happened in Ragnarok, imagine Thor hearing about Steve and Tony’s fight and being like “Really?! Thats why you all stopped working together?! Just get over it! I did! I’m still friends with Loki and he’s betrayed me three times since breakfast! This petty mortal shit is nothing!”
Loki: “Can confirm, poisoning his mead right now.”
Thor: “Ha! I’ve built up an immunity.”
Now I feel I was cheated on Civil War
Steve: “Well, we disagreed about this big political thing, and I mean big – almost every country in the world was involved.”
Thor: *nodding* “Right.”
Steve: “So we started to fight, I mean really fight. We each had about half a dozen friends backing us up.”
Thor: *nodding* “Always best to bring your friends along”
Steve: “And by the end, it was just me and Tony, and we… we really pounded each other…. no holding back.”
Okay but what if Peter and Shuri are at the Avengers Compund and Peter asks Shuri if she wants to watch a movie with him in the screening room and she says yes. So they go in and Peter turns on Star Wars and half way through the movie he jokingly says how she should make real life SW tech. She tells him to pause the movie and she walks out of the room and comes back 10 minutes later and is like “I made these when I was 11!” And pulls out 2 functioning lightsabers and hands one to Peter, who is in shock and they start running around the compound fighting with lightsabers. T’Challa is annoyed because he told Shuri to leave them at home and Tony doesn’t know if he should be impressed bc Shuri made actual lightsabers or worried that two 16 year olds are running around using ACTUAL lightsabers.
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