Summary: Before becoming Captain America, Steve was a scrawny and sickly young man from Brooklyn. Always by his side, and in his bed, is his best friend, his Bucky; James Barnes. The two are practically inseparable, and then, when Bucky gets drafted, Steve does everything he can think of to enlist. There was only one problem with that; the government wanted nothing to do with a scarlet and rheumatic fever surviving, asthmatic kid from Brooklyn. Don’t forget the high blood pressure and heart palpitations.
One day, a man named Doctor Abraham Erskine, saw something in Steve, something that made Steve stand out in comparison to the thousands of soldiers he had previously examined. From that moment on, Steve’s life was forever changed.
The serum, the war, losing a loved one; it changes a man, and Steve Rogers was no exception.
Word Count: 944
Warnings for the series: Heavy angst, fluff, male-on-male sexual content, this may bear some resemblance to Fifty Shades as noted below. There is a possibility of more warnings to be added as the series progresses.
Author’s Note: Inspiration provided by [X][X] GIF credit [X][X]
My work is not to be posted on any other sites (AO3, Wattpad, etc.) without my express written permission. Reblogs are fine.


1942: After the Draft
Bucky was gone, off to fight a war that he probably wouldn’t be coming back from, and Steve felt so lost. He had already been struggling with the heavy weight of anxiety on a daily basis since he was a child, and Bucky had been the only one that could ease the pressure. Without Bucky there, it was as if Steve were spiralling, circling the drain, falling deeper into the depths of his own brain.
The one thing that wasn’t affected by Bucky going to war was Steve’s determination to enlist. He knew the government didn’t want him, that his health wasn’t an appealing trait, but he just wanted to be given the chance to prove himself.
Standing in front of an enlistment folder, staring at the large black font, panic blossomed in his chest.
“Wait here,” instructed the doctor.
“Is there a problem?” God, he hoped the doctor couldn’t hear the tremor in his voice.
“Just wait here,” was all he said before leaving the room.
He was alone for several long moments before being joined by an Enlistment Office MP. The sight of an MP could mean only one thing, Steve was to be arrested for lying on a government form. Steve gave an uneasy smile, which the MP didn’t return. Of course he wouldn’t. He was there to arrest Steve, not to make friends.
An older gentleman, one with white hair and spectacles, walked in, thanking the officer as he turned to leave.
“So, you want to go overseas,” the new arrival noted softly. Steve found his accent oddly soothing. “Kill some Nazis.”
Whatever Steve had been expecting, it wasn’t that. “Excuse me?”
“Dr. Abraham Erskine,” he said, walking over to shake Steve’s hand. “I represent the Strategic Scientific Reserve.”
Well, that couldn’t be too bad, right?
“Steve Rogers.” When Abraham said nothing more and started flipping through a manilla folder, Steve tried to make some small talk. “Where are you from?”
“Queens,” he answered quickly. “Seventy-third Street and Utopia Parkway. Before that, Germany. This troubles you?”
“No,” Steve replied, shaking his head.
Abraham resumed flipping through the file. “Where are you from, Mr. Rogers, mmm? Is it New Haven?”
Steve swallowed around the knot in his throat. Shit, he really was in trouble.
“Or Paramus? Five exams in five different cities,” Abraham deadpanned.
“That might not be the right file,” he lied, and not very well.
“No, it’s not the exams I’m interested in,” Abraham assured the young man before him. “It’s the five tries. But you didn’t answer my question. Do you want to kill Nazis?”
“Is this a test?” Would he be arrested if he gave the wrong answer? Who was he kidding. He was going to be arrested no matter what he said.
Abraham nodded as he answered. “Yes.”
“I don’t wanna kill anyone,” he answered quickly, hoping the doctor didn’t take the rushed answer the wrong way. “I don’t like bullies. I don’t care where they’re from.”
With a sigh, Abraham closed the file. “Well, there are already so many big men fighting this war. Maybe what they need now is the little guy, huh? I can offer you a chance.”
As the pair walked out of the room, Abraham reiterated, “Only a chance,” when Steve perked up.
“I’ll take it.” Steve’s heart jumped excitedly in his chest.
Abraham gave Steve a warm smile. “Good. So, where is this little guy from, actually?”
“Brooklyn,” Steve answered proudly.
Coming to a stop by the front desk, Abraham stamped Steve’s form and handed it to him. “Congratulations, soldier.”

“And the rest is well-documented history,” Steve sighed heavily.
“What about Peggy?” Clint asked after a long moment.
With a sigh, Steve gave an answer. “I loved Peggy, I still do. It’s just not the same as with Buck. Where he was the soulmate of my heart, Peggy was the soulmate of everything else.”
“That makes sense,” Clint noted.
God, Steve was so goddamn tired. He just wanted to climb into bed and go to sleep, for like, a year. Forget the missions, saving the world from another catastrophic event, Steve wanted to be left alone. But, if he was alone, then his mind started to wander, and those thoughts were always of Bucky.
Clint nudged Steve’s knee with his own. “Why don’t you get some sleep, huh, Cap? It’s been a hell of a long day.”
“Sorry, Clint,” Steve lamented. “I didn’t mean to keep you up so late.”
“No apologies, man,” he said after Steve stood with a yawn. “Anytime you need to talk, I’m here, okay?”
With a wry smile, Steve nodded. “Thank you.”
Clint clapped Steve on the shoulder before heading off to his room, leaving Steve in the dimly lit corner. With a shudder that made his chest ache, Steve made his way out of the common room, down the maze of hallways, and into his room.
Don’t something as mundane as getting undressed proved to be too much. So, Steve fell into his bed and curled around one of the pillows, buried his face in it, and let out a scream. He had worked so hard at burying everything, his grief and anger, love and sorrow, that he hadn’t been prepared to unlock the door and open it up.
Not that he really could have prepared himself, talking about something for the first time in over seventy years was going to be difficult. Throw in the fact that it was about love, a deep and all consuming love, he felt completely wrung out.
With his face in the pillow and tears streaming down his face, Steve didn’t remember falling asleep.
FOUR

Everything: @captain-rogers-beard @badassbaker @fatalcrossbow @sunriserose1023 @alyssaj23 @ssweet-empowerment @supernatural-girl97 @thefridgeismybestie @palaiasaurus64 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @nyxveracity @breezy1415 @titty-teetee @melaninmarvel @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @wildefire @capsheadquaters @qnzdiamond104 @saharzek @speakinvain @diinofayce @mizzzpink @pebblesz892 @stevieang @thatgirl-xx-thatgirl @iwillwakeherinthemorning @lea—-b @redqueen1221 @brittyevans @moisttoas-t @nuggsmumreads @jobean12-blog @fireismysaftey @msshadowboxer @vechkinfan @prettybubblesintheair @kanupps06 @rainbowkisses31 @janeyboo @banlaochranda @ellie-bee242 @shieldsandsunsets @evanstandream @punkrockhufflefluff @winters-beauty @unlikelygalaxygiver @thirtiethnovember @sexyvixen7 @whope123 @mscaptainjones @awkward-walking-potato @memory-of-a-goldfish @somethingwitty-somethingsweet @minarawr @xserenax-13 @andiyholly @averyrogers83 @bionic-buckyb @princess76179 @carryonmywaywardcaptain @female-accountant @whitemoonstag @xxashy999xx @coffeewithjake @nerdgirljen @everythingisoverrated @angelsofalliteration @walkingtravesty97 @jbarnes87 @akamaiden @part-time-patronus @slytherin-in-hufflepuff-robes @emmawatsonbelle @joannie95 @almighty-rogers @jamesbbbarnes-blog @buckysothiccbarnes @paintballkid711 @teafocus @cxptain-bxcky @letsdisneythings @buckystan-plums @gonnadiereading @nomadstevergxrs @kaliforniacoastalteens @marvelcomicsz @tutis24 @i-speak-sarcasmmm @thebiggestmarvelnerd @attemptsatliving @thisismysecrethappyplace @glitterquadricorn
Stucky: @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @autoblocked @its–fandom–darling @eshia16 @daiiybuugle @delicatecapnerd @phoenix21love @natcad @chrisevans1fan @lillwindmill
Casualties of War: @tequila1984 @patzammit @stanclub @emnebula18 @someonekindalikeyou @1800-peggys-orange-lipstick







